Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
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