Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
