Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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