they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
