Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
