Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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