if you like me you must not know who I am
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
