I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
