Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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