someone threw a dead crab at me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
