We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
