she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
