That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
