before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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