so explain again why im purple
no
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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