is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
