Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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