I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
