yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
