I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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