I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
