doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
