You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
