That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
