I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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