I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
