That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
