i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Randomize
