You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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