Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
