do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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