Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
