He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
