oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
