I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
