Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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