Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
