i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
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