We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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