His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Randomize
