theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
