Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
