he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
