If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
