Are we in a gay sports bar?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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