my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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