Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
