Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I looked at my own cervix.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize