Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
