In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
