Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
