haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What a dumb baby whore.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
