Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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