Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
