Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
