Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
