She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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