if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I can text with my tongue
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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