I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
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Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
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The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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