I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
