what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
