well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
